"The human male is a peculiar animal, and one that should be relatively easy to understand. Why then are there millions of books devoted to philosophy, psychology, sexology and the pursuit of happiness? Is it because our civilization is gradually dumbing down and we need constant education?  Or is it because we are too smart for our own good and actually over-analyze life, hoping for the best, but losing focus of the real issues?  Brazenly exploring the luscious world of sin, loveless sex and the most tragic of self-destructive relationships, taught me that complication in itself does not bring happiness. Psychology studies taught me much about the human psyche, but also seemed to bring a great sense of detachment to my life. Even worse, I have found that modern psychology seems to teach standardization in practice, when in fact, individualized attention is the most important part of therapy."

After Michael finished his statement the interviewer sort of nodded and made a weird noise.  Damn these kids from the newspaper.  

Famous Last Words

A Bit Of Fun 1

Relationship Advice From Movie Icons

Why waste time buying E-Books on how to pick up women or attract men when you can learn from the best – the legendary screen icons who changed the face of cinema and American culture? Here are some of the best quotes in cinema history that deal with relationships, followed by a possible expounding on the character's deeper meaning.

10. “Love means never having to say you're sorry.”

Spoken by: Oliver Barrett IV (played by Ryan O'Neal) in Love Story.

Meaning: Love should never be a matter of pride. A relationship can be easily pulled apart by mistrust, stubbornness and egoism. When you love somebody apologies should flow as freely as water, if for no other reason but to put a smile on your lover's face.

9. “What we've got here is a failure to communicate.”

Spoken by: Captain (played by Strother Martin) in 1967's Cool Hand Luke.

Meaning: Communication is paramount (not pictures) to resolving all of the problematic issues in relationships. When there is a failure to communicate, feelings of conflict start to develop, whether you're talking international diplomacy or a troubled marriage. Talk things out so you know what the problem is and the best way to approach it.

8. “I want to be alone."

Spoken by: Grusinskaya (played by Greta Garbo) in 1932's Grand Hotel.

Meaning: Self-explanatory. Whereas some hot-blooded lovers will go to pieces over nothing, or suffer through each other's mood swings believing the issue is much graver than it is, Grusinskaya realizes the value of being alone. Everybody needs some quality “me-time”, complete privacy away from their partner which will make the heart grow fonder.

7. “You had me at hello.”

Spoken by: Dorothy Boyd (played by Renee Zellweger) in 1996's Jerry Maguire.

Meaning: The first “hello” moment in relationships are often very underrated. First impressions do count, and so a lack of confidence or an air or aloofness can inadvertently turn potential partners off. Make the first hello count – make it genuine, so that your first impression conveys everything you are willing to give in a relationship.

6. “Snap out of it!”

Spoken by: Loretta Castorini (played by Cher) in 1987's Moonstruck.

Meaning: What better advice to give a poor, infatuated underachiever who is too blinded with impostor love to see the reality of a hopeless romantic situation? We often time idealize lovers that we realistically are not compatible with, treating them as objects created from our own vision of a perfect romance. Sometimes infatuation really is just infatuation – even though love can be strongly felt on one side.

5. “I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.”

Spoken by: Blanche Dubois (played by Vivien Leigh) in 1951's A Streetcar Named Desire.

Meaning: Sometimes it's difficult to trust new people, especially after you have been hurt in previous relationships. But a refusal to open up to someone else – to relax, to be yourself, to share your emotions and good qualities – may cause serious problems in the relationship either from the get-go or in later stages. While you don't have to wear your heart on your sleeve, you should remember to be kind to strangers and expect that they will be kind to you. This is how true love meets.

4.“Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.”

Spoken by: Forrest Gump (played by Tom Hanks) in 1994's Forrest Gump.

Meaning: Forrest was wise, even with his slightly below average IQ. Though everyone loves chocolate, as well as the first flush of romance, eventually compatibility issues will arise. Some relationships will never work out, try as though we might, and suffer as though we will. But fearing the future is no reason to stop sampling chocolate and opening your heart to romance. You never know what you're going to get – but sometimes you're surprised.

3. “Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me. Aren't you?”

Spoken by: Benjamin Braddock (played by Dustin Hoffman) in 1967's The Graduate.

Meaning: Reading and misreading signals is one of the biggest challenges in singles romance today. Sometimes it's best to just come out and say what you're thinking. Benjamin took a big risk in asking his older lover if he was reading the signals right. She laughed at first, but eventually the sexual tension was created and their affair was one to remember for a generation to come. If he had never asked, he may have never received.

2. “Surely you can't be serious!”

“I am serious… and don't call me Shirley.”

Spoken by: Ted Striker and Dr. Rumack (played by Robert Hays and Leslie Nielsen) in 1980's Airplane.

Meaning: Adult relationships can be heavy and no matter how hard you try, expect some difficult times. Nevertheless, couples should never lose their sense of humor – especially when things get too serious. Couples who laugh together tend to stay together. Positive emotions produced by laughter can defuse a volatile situation. Surely, you would rather laugh with your lover than spend another day fighting. And I told you to stop calling me Shirley.

1. “You can't handle the truth!”

Spoken by: Col. Nathan Jessep (played by Jack Nicholson) in 1992's A Few Good Men.

Meaning: The truth hurts and in some cases can be sharper than a kitchen knife. Like handling any dangerous weapon, the truth in relationships should be handled with caution. If you ask for honesty, be prepared to take it; likewise, make sure that your partner can handle the ugly truth about your past before you bring it up. Sometimes it's not necessarily the truth that stings the most, but the manner of delivery. In general, avoid spouting out the truth like Nicholson or Cruise did in their moments of glory. The truth doesn't have to be that loud...if you are honest then a whisper of truth can break down a wall.

Love Atheism Part III

Love Atheism Part II

Definition Of Love? 

I think I will take this opportunity to introduce myself and briefly explain what this blog is about. It is an exploration of love, not necessarily adhering to any preconceived notions. I won't insult anyone's intelligence by saying that "Love does exist for everybody!" or "There is no such thing as love." I've certainly been on both sides of the fence, playing idealist and cynic. My philosophy is that love can exist, depending upon our own definitions, our own ambitions and our own certain terms. (However rigid those terms may be)

Love Atheism implies a hybrid faith, that you go beyond rejecting the principle of God, something you cannot see, and actually reject what you see right in front of you, but have not yet experienced. (Or perhaps something you have lost that will never be found again) When we become resentful about our lost loves in life, we tend to close our hearts to new experiences and reject any new evidence that true love could exist. It is at that point we realize that everything everybody says about love is true -- and that it will live or die by our own terms.

I've never claimed to be modest and so I do consider the term "love atheist" my intellectual property that I unfortunately forgot to copyright in the mid-90's or so. (Whoops) Nevertheless, at one time I considered myself such a person -- and was certainly not above sharing with others my cynical views and challenging every foundation of so called love that I could find.

Eventually I discovered that this attitude was not only hurtful to others, who cling to their definition of love however unsatisfying it may be to others, but also to my own heart. Evidence aside, nobody truly wants to live in a world where there is no hope, no such thing as true love and where everything can be dissected into a cold science. We are more than willing to eat crow if it means being eternally happy, aren't we?

Love is real, but you are the creator and give it life...

Love Atheism Part I

"Profile With References"

Allow me to assist you in reading the minds of your male contemporaries.  Before I start the Love Atheism Blog, here is an updated profile with references. 

Mystery Writer Michael is a published novelist and freelance writer*1. Because of the controversial*2 nature of his literary works, he prefers to use a pen name*3.

"The human male is a peculiar animal, and one that should be relatively easy to understand*4. Why then are there millions of books devoted to philosophy, psychology, sexology and the pursuit of happiness?*5 Is it because our civilization is gradually dumbing down and we need constant education? Or is it because we are too smart for our own good and actually over-analyze life, hoping for the best, but losing focus of the real issues?*6

I searched for 'truth' all of my life, asking more questions than I ever learned answers. *7 The Christian ministry taught me that we reap what we sow, but left me wondering how I could truly understand the full scope of the world from just one perspective*8. Brazenly exploring the luscious world of sin*9, loveless sex and the most tragic of self-destructive relationships*10, taught me that complication in itself does not bring happiness*11. Psychology studies taught me much about the human psyche, but also seemed to bring a great sense of detachment to my life*12. Even worse, I have found that modern psychology seems to teach standardization in practice, when in fact, individualized attention is the most important part of therapy.*13

What I have learned over my thirty years of existence*14, is that life should always be lived with passion, with intelligence, and with concern for your fellow 'man.' Living this way will guide you to true love*15. And finding love is not only the most important thing in life, it is very the reason you are alive*16. Visit my blog entitled Love Atheism – The Idealist's Search For Romance*17. I look forward to hearing from you.”

*1 Novels, short stories, essays, articles, how to books

*2 I have been known to unknowingly or occasionally knowingly offend people. It's what writers do, eh?

*3 I have used a few different pen names depending on the work involved. Mystery Writer Michael sounds respectably mysterious as opposed to seedy mysterious shockingly mysterious or just plain goofy.

*4 Men are rather fascinatingly uncomplicated at times. Sometimes we overanalyze people straight into oblivion.

*5 How did I get where I am today, why do my lovers behave so strangely, why is sex so madly enjoyable and if it's not then what I am doing wrong!!!, and finally why despite all the great sex, clinical observation and self-discovering epiphanies am I still unhappy? And so on.

*6 Rhetorical question there.

*7 We have all found Truth here & there. Most of it was real, a few falsities, and many many ambiguities posing as truths.

*8 Former minister I am. I was the best. Perhaps a lack of humility steered me wrong?

*8 1/2 That was another rhetorical question.

*9 Tantric sex, a great substitute for psychiatry.

*10 Aye, you have to experience emotional pain before you grow and before you can become an inspiration to others.

*11 "Winning and overcoming the obstacles" is not always the root issue, nor the secret of life, despite whatever Self Help books are claiming these days.

*12 For the best results, analyze people quietly to yourself and not out loud when they are directly in front of you.

*13 Therapy should be an individual experience. However, getting differing opinions is very important, especially in comparison to taking one doctor's advice only.

*14 The Big 30. Me! It is quite surreal that I have ever grown up.

*15 True love exists, but only depending upon your personal definition.

*16 The quest to finding love is the very reason you are alive. Whether or not your birth parents ever found true love, they were attempting to find something personally meaningful. You were conceived in the hope of finding true love, hence it is inherently linked to your mission in life.

*17 I have two blogs devoted to Love Atheism, one for Ask A Man.com and the other an "off the record" sort of deal.